What Does Bravery Look Like For You?
“Be brave. Things will find their shape.”
— Unknown —
I’ve never been a fan of doing something because everyone else is doing it. And yet I’ve conceptualized bravery in a way that is very aligned with what society says it is. For me it’s about doing hard things.
I’ve long had a conventional idea of what that means: physical endeavours like backcountry skiing and cliff diving (betraying my British Columbian roots there a little).
But what if doing hard things is not doing the hard things that society is telling you to do because they’re not the right hard things for you?
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
— E.E. Cummings —
What if the hard thing is deciding what your hard thing is and doing that?
The literal definition of bravery is having mental or moral strength in the face of fear, difficulty or danger.
The key is “mental strength”.
And we get to choose what’s hard for us. And how we employ that mental strength.
What’s unconventional today will be conventional tomorrow
I love this article by
on preparing for an unconventional life. As he writes, it’s not easy to go against everything society tells us to do, be and say. To do so, we not only need to have mental strength but also both mental agility and endurance to live life differently. At least at first.
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
— Brené Brown —
But then things change, don’t they? In fact, by being an early adopter, a first mover, we are literally being the change.
Sometimes we act like we can’t influence culture. Like we can’t influence social norms. But how do you think things change?
Things change when one person decides to do things differently, followed by a few others. And then eventually that becomes the new path.
According to Erica Chenoweth, a political scientist and professor at Harvard Kennedy School, movements that give rise to political change requires the participation of just 3.5 percent of a population.
Much of what is unconventional today will soon be conventional. Before long a new set of social norms will evolve and be cemented in societal structures. Then one day they too will be disrupted. And so on.
We don’t have to accept that the way things are today is how things must be and always will be. Because they don’t and they won’t. In fact life will be easier for us if we accept its fluidity.
“The most courageous act is to think for yourself. Aloud.
— Coco Chanel —
Choose your hard thing
The hard thing I’m doing right now not working too hard. I love my work but I don’t love the grind. It literally grinds me down.
After I’ve done my morning routine — been to the gym, meditated, done yoga and have a heavy dose of caffeine in me — I need to hold myself back from jumping online and starting work too early. Because although I love my work when I’m off then it’s deep work for the next several hours.
And that’s great in some ways but not so great in others. Because I end up sitting in the same place for a few hours and as we’ve all heard: sitting is the new smoking.
So, I make sure I take care of my body before I get to work. I incorporate movement into my day. I take my calls outside where possible. I don’t work longer than I need to because I don’t make other people’s priorities my own. I’m no longer a people pleaser. I’m a person pleaser. And that person is me.
When I first started doing all of the above it was very unconventional and it still is to be honest. Most of the people I work with are still grinding. But I decided that my body and my mind and my spirit deserved better. And I translated that into action. And slowly I’m seeing a shift in the work culture as more people prioritize their own well-being.
That might not sound brave to you. But when the whole world is shouting that you need to hustle and you stand up and say no . . .
That’s brave.
Doing what’s right for you? Going against the grain? Charting your own path?
That’s brave.
Defining who you are instead of letting society tell you who you are? Rejecting labels?
That’s brave.
And the braver we are, the faster the unconventional will become the conventional. The more we push against what’s not working in our world, the quicker we’ll usher in a better world.
So find your hard thing. Especially if that hard thing is being exactly who you are. The world needs more of what being brave looks like for you.
For more on what bravery looks like for me, find me here and here.
